OMG my Mama Mia was back! I must have been busy that I forgot to tell you that she was back in the Kingdom. Err, yes I intentionally busied myself to ease my pain knowing I cannot go home to attend the one year death anniversary of my mother which we called babang luksa (end of mourning).
Would that mean, I will be mourning the rest of my life???
I do not know.
I watched Mama Mia 2 last night… and the part where Meryl Streep appeared left me teary-eyed. I remembered my mother… and I remembered my Mama Mia in Avantusland.
My heart is sinking and my boggled mind finally had an answer… I used to wonder, how does phantom pain feels like?
It feels like the way my Mama Mia is feeling right now. She’s out of the Kingdom for a month and when she returned I noticed she was on a gurney, I did not bother asked, in my mind, from a long hospitalization she must have a weakened system. But when the Social Worker announced that she have had bilateral BKA, I was totally flabbergasted!
Anyhow, I started working on her and started her treatment. She opened her eyes trying to familiarize herself with her environ, gave me a smile and grimaced “me duele, me duele”, “donde mama?” I asked. And she pointed down “los pies“.
I covered my mouth in disbelief… the Social Worker said she wasn’t aware of her amputation yet.
She still feels the pain from her feet?!?
Ah! phantom pain. It is real.